Thursday, 27 October 2011

Let's Bring back sisterhood

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It all started with the dreaded questions I get asked a lot:

“What do you do all day?”

My husband thinks I drink coffee all day (let’s not get started with that, that’s a whole other topic) I hope he’s joking.

Plus all the media attention mothers seem to be getting, it’s the hot topic of conversation that is always gingerly put up for discussion.

It used to be them against us, them being the men. Now it's working mums versus stay at home mums. I say enough is enough; we are all mothers and women we need to support each other in our very hard quest at being mothers.

As much as I hate having to admit I am a full time mum or “Domestic Engineer“ that I heard once which I love. But why do I hate to admit that, I should be proud, why am I not ? This admission brings up it's own feelings of inadequacy, that people no longer have respect for what I do and of having lost my sense of who I am and so on. But we are always told that our jobs should never be just who we are about, so why is it not the same for the job of a mum? I am trying to carve a new career by trying to slowly build up a new business by myself. So that one day I will still be me and have a sense of purpose when my kid goes to school, but so what if I have to start all over again when that time comes, it shouldn’t matter.

I would love to work part time but like many mothers financially with childcare I would have ended up making £10 a day wage so what’s the point. My husband works so hard and I really appreciate that he supported me opting to stay with Rex and start my own thing slowly. We are not rich by any means and we have had to make sacrifices to make this work.

Being a mother, working or stay at home is bloody hard and maintaining a healthy relationship, or any resemblance of a relationship during bringing up a child is also bloody hard.

I found motherhood a real struggle to start with. It was one gigantic shock that I am still shell shocked from. Rex turned my world upside down and inside out. I think I had this romantic vision of what it would be like, some of it is true but most of it is still in fairytales. Nothing can ever prepare you for this, but my way to cope was to surrender fully to my new life and to create and build a whole new one from scratch.

It’s a love / hate balancing act like being in a hamster wheel, fall off and it all goes to pot, it's relentless and thankless.

It’s not a competition motherhood it’s a life choice that needs a lot of support from family and friends and from other women.

So what do I do all day? The same as you, a job and I’d like to say to all of you ladies well done and thank you, however which way you do it x


  1. I agree! Can't say anything more really, you said it all very well.